After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
