i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
