youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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