I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
