Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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