Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
