I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
