Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I deserve this hangover.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
