but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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