so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
