OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
