What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
