Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
