So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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