ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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