we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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