Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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