she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
