So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
