haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
