i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
