Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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