That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
