It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
