Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
