What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
