Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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