i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
