I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
