you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
