Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
