she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
