Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
