I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
