Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
