My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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