420 ftw
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
