Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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