The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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