I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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