I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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