She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
