Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
