Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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