Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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