similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They took my balls.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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