There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
