when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize