You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
