thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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