I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
