Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
