you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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