hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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