why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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